Well i am back together w/ my ex boyfriend. Things aren't the same but they are still great! We dated for 4 1/2 months before, and it's been together for 4 days now! lol, i don't know, i do love him though, and i know that, but my problem is that i don't know if he loves me for me. He doesn't know me as personally as other ppl do. But i don't think i know him personally either.

Well i am sick at the moment. Strep throat and Larengitis, together which SUX beyond belief!!!!!! And my baby sister has surgery on Friday. She had mastoiditis a few weeks ago, and has had continuous ear infections for about a year, and i have been saying that she needed tubes in her ears. I would know seeing as how i've had 3 sets. Oh for those who dont know, tubes aren't the same or close to hearing aids. They are surgically inserted into ur ear and they help w/ some junk dats real nasty. But she is going on Friday and i'm real nervous. If you could, please pray for her.
well ttyl!

Hugs and kisses,
Lady J

p.s, since my last post, i am doing much better!

It's hard to explain
So I won't.
No matter how bad I want to,
I don't.

The anger and the sadness
cannot compare to the pain.
I try to call for help,
I feel like I'm going insane.

So as if I'm as calm as ever,
I let it all out.
I don't tell anyone,
I don't scream, I don't shout.

I will soon be calm again
as the pain flows away.
All the pain, hurt, sadness, and rage
are gone, for today.

These feelings, I am sure,
will soon re-occur.
And this pattern will happen
Then things will be as they were,
Until.....Begin at the top....

This is a poem i wrote after i cut the last time it happened. I hope that you understand it, and for people who didnt understand the poem itself, I wrote what it was about in the title.


Love you all!,
Lady J

I gave in.......

I let pain override my mind

Okay everyone, if anyone still comes here, I am so sorry that i havent posted in a while!! plz 4give me! lol, so heres an update on my life.

I am single again. I still miss my ex-bf, but i refuse to give in, when i know that i will never be completely happy with him. I ended our relationship, and i cannot begin something like that again knowing it will never get anywhere. We are still friends and we talk on the phone everyday. He says he still loves me and i told him i loved him like a best friend, but nothing more, and he said that it would do, and i feel grateful that i am allowed my space, without completely cutting myself off from him.

Some of you also know, that in the past i have had a cutting problem. I am very proud to say that i havent cut in 1 1/2 months. This may not seem like much to you, but unless you have had this problem, then there is no way you would understand. I am very proud for trying my best to stop my terrible habit, but i still regret starting. I do occasionally feel the need to cut again, at least once a week i think about it, which is why i feel so proud not to have.

I am beginning the second semester in my 8th grade year, and i dont know all my final grades yet, but i know that i have a 92% average in my Language Arts Class(which most are failing), and i know that i have a 94% avg. in SS. So i know i will be in honors SS, and probably Language arts, but i wont know about Math and Science till the end of the year. I still am very proud of my grades. And i hope that i can keep them up, because the life i want and plan to have, starts with a college degree, which i wont have unless i get to work on my grades.

Over all, my life is going alright. I hope all of yours are going great too. If anyone wants to talk, i would LOVE to, you can either comment my blog, PM me, or get my e-mail address off my profile and e-mail me. i hope to talk to yall soon!

hugs and kisses,
-Lady J